~Is there anyone who hasn't felt the sting of hateful, mean-spirited words spewing out all over their formerly placid mind? The shock of those bitter words flows through you like no other feeling you can recall. We've all been there and know that feeling--the paralyzing quality of their meaning. And all of us ask the same questions: How could they say that? What are they thinking? What have I done?!!! Sometimes we can answer those questions, and sometimes we can't. We usually respond with anger and outrage...but should we?
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In Chapter 3 of F. LaGard Smith's Meeting God in Quiet Places, he addresses this kind of desecration written on our mental walls. How do we cope with this kind of attack? Can we find a similar situation in the Bible? David's anguish at being attacked with slander by friends can be compared to our own. And who has suffered the most pain from slander and betrayal by friends? Jesus, our Saviour.
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I have often referred to the Psalms because within them lies all of the elements we experience in our own lives. This connection is made when David's poems tell of his enemies speaking evil of him. Not great armies coming against him, but hateful words. David prays for protection from the words of his enemies, many who hate him simply because he is "a man after God's own heart." Like our own enemies, David's were just waiting for him to fail, so they could heap scorn on him. Our enemies are waiting for us to fail, waiting for us to show our struggling faith, so they can express words of derision and hurt.
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But when you think about it, it isn't surprising that our enemies throw hateful words at us. Having no regard for anything spiritual, and by pointing out our faults, they justify their own sinful ways. That is the way it works in the world.
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However, it is when the one who has abused you is a loved one that you are most deeply hurt. This also happened to David, and we can only guess who he was talking about in one of his psalms: Was it King Saul, who loved him like a son, then tried to kill him? Or maybe his beloved son Absalom, who brought a rebellion against him? Two people close to David--people he loved--betrayed him!
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Can you imagine how David felt, because you have also had this experience? Has a close friend or relative betrayed you? Your first reaction is to give back in kind. Like David, you feel totally validated in asking God to help you get back at them. David said of his enemy: "May his days be few. May another take his place of leadership. May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. May his children be wandering beggars. May a creditor seize all he has. May strangers plunder the fruits of his labor. May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children."
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I have often referred to the Psalms because within them lies all of the elements we experience in our own lives. This connection is made when David's poems tell of his enemies speaking evil of him. Not great armies coming against him, but hateful words. David prays for protection from the words of his enemies, many who hate him simply because he is "a man after God's own heart." Like our own enemies, David's were just waiting for him to fail, so they could heap scorn on him. Our enemies are waiting for us to fail, waiting for us to show our struggling faith, so they can express words of derision and hurt.
~
But when you think about it, it isn't surprising that our enemies throw hateful words at us. Having no regard for anything spiritual, and by pointing out our faults, they justify their own sinful ways. That is the way it works in the world.
~
However, it is when the one who has abused you is a loved one that you are most deeply hurt. This also happened to David, and we can only guess who he was talking about in one of his psalms: Was it King Saul, who loved him like a son, then tried to kill him? Or maybe his beloved son Absalom, who brought a rebellion against him? Two people close to David--people he loved--betrayed him!
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Can you imagine how David felt, because you have also had this experience? Has a close friend or relative betrayed you? Your first reaction is to give back in kind. Like David, you feel totally validated in asking God to help you get back at them. David said of his enemy: "May his days be few. May another take his place of leadership. May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. May his children be wandering beggars. May a creditor seize all he has. May strangers plunder the fruits of his labor. May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children."
OUCH! Can this be the same David who wrote the 23rd Psalm?
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You cheer David on because you too have felt the hurt--maybe not of hatred, but of spite, or selfishness, or even an important difference of opinion. You want to feel better, and lashing back at your "enemy" will put salve on your wounds. Unfortunately, it doesn't heal them completely. But you CAN cover over the ugly words of grafitti with paint, and ugly abusive words with love. In fact, you may remember that the apostle Peter tells us to "Love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins."
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You cheer David on because you too have felt the hurt--maybe not of hatred, but of spite, or selfishness, or even an important difference of opinion. You want to feel better, and lashing back at your "enemy" will put salve on your wounds. Unfortunately, it doesn't heal them completely. But you CAN cover over the ugly words of grafitti with paint, and ugly abusive words with love. In fact, you may remember that the apostle Peter tells us to "Love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins."
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Covers...yes, but what about forgetting those hateful words? It's because David wrote the 23rd Psalm that we know that he didn't allow vindictiveness to consume him. Writing the 23rd Psalm showed that no matter who came against him, he depended on God: "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.... Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Depending on God really works!
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And, of course, your best example of forgiving your enemies, your friends, or your relatives is Jesus. Betrayed by friends and hung on a cross by enemies, Jesus also looked to God and turned all His grief and pain over to Him, saying: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Forgive them?!!! Can you really learn to be that compassionate and forgiving?
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And, of course, your best example of forgiving your enemies, your friends, or your relatives is Jesus. Betrayed by friends and hung on a cross by enemies, Jesus also looked to God and turned all His grief and pain over to Him, saying: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Forgive them?!!! Can you really learn to be that compassionate and forgiving?
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Certainly, you can be strengthened by realizing that God knows how much you have been hurt. Bearing the greatest slander, the greatest scorn, the greatest hatred the world has ever seen, Jesus said to God: "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."
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That is what you should do when you're faced with verbal grafitti--FORGIVE. To be like Christ, you must forgive and turn it over to your heavenly Father as He did. Sometimes you treat your family like the enemy, and your acquaintances like family. That is a false way of moving through the world. You must realize that you haven't been perfect either, and someone has undoubtedly covered your wrongs with their love.
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Have a wonderful Sunday with the family. Remember that God will help you.
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Blessings...Mimi
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Have a wonderful Sunday with the family. Remember that God will help you.
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Blessings...Mimi
Good points! Usually you have to learn to ignore the negative comments of people who do it on an on-going basis, in the hope they will change. Otherwise, it eventually gets "old" and you end up avoiding the person altogether! :-P
ReplyDeleteJon
You're right, Jon. And that can create a difficult situation! We miss good opportunities to make ourselves better people sometimes, which is also an ongoing task! Thanks.
ReplyDelete